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Quotes and Notes

We cannot love God unless we love each other. We know him in the breaking of bread, and we know each other in the breaking of bread, and we are not alone anymore. Heaven is a banquet, and life is a banquet too – even with a crust – where there is companionship. We have all known loneliness, and we have learned that the only solution is love, and that love comes with community.

- Dorothy Day

A certain brother went to Abbot Moses in Scete and asked him for a word of wisdom. The abbot said to him, Go and sit alone in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.

- the Desert Fathers

Find moments where you can be inwardly quiet – moments when you put aside all of your own wishes and dreams, all the plans you have for your life. Then you will be able to hear another voice: the voice that can give you a direction for your life. The voice of God. Be sure to do this now and then. Take time to be completely alone, if possible outdoors in nature, and listen for that voice.

- Sophie Löber

I was unhappy not to be what I thought I should be, and that led me to loneliness and introspective and self-lacerating thoughts. I feel now that a person has to accept himself as he is, and must totally dedicate to God whatever he has. After all, that is all a person can give. It is God, not our own strengths or weaknesses, who must be the beginning and the end of all our thinking.

- J. Heinrich

Arnold Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions. The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others. And if you are lonely, pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

- Dag Hammarskjöld

What deep unhappiness I have sometimes felt and do feel! I have gone through so many periods of dryness and heaviness and confusion, I could only keep saying, “Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief,” and try to keep my deep sadness and discouragement from others. I think there just are these periods of dryness; and such a thing as deep spiritual fatigue. But then there is the church where it is possible to be alone, to be silent, to wait on the Lord. The daily bread we ask for is there. To sit in the presence of the Sun of Justice is healing, though I have to force myself to remain there at times, in fatigue. But the healing is there too. In Isaiah it says, “In peace is my bitterness most bitter.” I’ve experienced that. But the peace and the joy are there, all the same.

- Dorothy Day

Do you know what makes the prison of loneliness and suspicion disappear? Every deep, genuine affection. Being friends, being brothers, loving, that is what opens the prison, with supreme power, by some magic force. Without these one stays dead. But wherever affection is revived, there life revives.

- Vincent van Gogh

To the same measure that we put ourselves at the disposal of the cause, so will our personal faith be strengthened. To the same measure that we put God’s will into practice, so will we gain confidence in our personal life. For we are promised, “Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you.”

- Else von Hollander

The notion that one has to achieve peace of mind before reaching out is ultimately a dodge of our responsibility. Life is a rollercoaster, and one had better buckle one’s belt. The focus on finding equanimity is often a selfish approach to reality dressed up in the language of spirituality. Open up the Book of Jeremiah, and you do not find a person looking for inner peace. He goes through mountains and valleys. That kind of richness I find very appealing, whereas I find the endless search for inner peace disturbing – a quest that goes nowhere.

- Daniel Berrigan

I struggled for years with invisible forces, and never would have gained clarity and peace of heart, were it not for the daily act of serving others: children, young people, co-workers, the elderly. Action alone affirms the task at hand and sets one’s energies free. Serving others pops the balloon of fantasy, chastens the body, and lifts the heart.

- Erwin Zitta

Many love Christ as long as they encounter no hardship; many praise and bless him as long as they receive some comfort from him. But if Jesus hides himself and leaves them for a while, they either start complaining or become dejected. Those, on the contrary, who love him for his own sake and not for any comfort of their own, praise him both in trial and anguish of heart as well as in the bliss of consolation. Even if Jesus should never comfort them, they would continue to praise and thank him. What power there is in a pure love for Jesus – love that is free from all self-interest and self-love!

- Thomas à Kempis

In solitude, whatever one has brought into it grows, also the inner beast.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

The agonizing pain and loneliness Christ must have felt as he hung on the cross is too fearful to imagine; yet even then he cried out, “Father, into thy hands I give my spirit.” Here we find the crowning of faith. Even the most intense suffering and feelings of godforsakenness could not sway his faith in his and our Father: he gave his spirit into God’s hands. If we want to be healed of the wounds made by Satan’s tricks and arrows, we must find this same unyielding trust in God. Ultimately, all we have is our weaknesses and our sin. But if we lay these before him like children, he will give us forgiveness, cleansing, and peace of heart; and these lead to a love that cannot be described.

- J. Heinrich Arnold

Each one of us who has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some storm or superstorm – when we look at each other we must say, “I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself.” We must support each other and empathize with each other, because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.

- Maya Angelou

If all people abandon you and even drive you away, then, when you are left alone, fall on the earth and kiss it, water it with your tears and it will bring forth fruit even though no one has seen or heard you in your solitude. Believe to the end, even if all men went astray and you were left the only one faithful; bring your offering even then and praise God in your loneliness. And if two of you are gathered together – then there is a whole world, a world of living love. Embrace each other tenderly and praise God, for if only in you two his truth has been fulfilled.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky

People come to join us in our “wonderful work.” It all sounds very wonderful, but life itself is a haphazard, untidy, messy affair. Unless we can live simply, unquestioningly, and solitary, one might say, in the midst of a mob, then we cease to be a disciple. The more we live with people in a community, the more we must look to ourselves and regard the beam in our own eyes. The more we live with a babbling crowd, the more we must practice silence. “For every idle word we speak we will be judged.”

- Dorothy Day

After hours of excitement and action and many human contacts, when even in one’s sleep and at moments of waking there is a sense of the imminence of things to be done and of conflict ahead, it is good to seek moments of perfect stillness and refreshment. Then indeed it seems that God touches the heart and the mind. There are moments of recollection, of realization when the path seems straighter, the course to be followed perfectly plain, though not easy. It is as though the great Physician to whom we go for healing had put straight that which was dislocated, and prescribed a course of action so definite that we breathe relief at having matters taken out of our hands. Such a moment came to me this morning with the thought – the revolution we are engaged in is a lonely revolution, fought out in our own hearts, a struggle between nature and grace. It is the most important work of all in which we are engaged. If we concentrate our energies primarily on that, then we can trust those impulses of the Holy Spirit and follow them simply, without question. We can trust and believe that all things will work together for good to them that love God, and that he will guide and direct us in our work. We will accomplish just what he wishes us to accomplish and no more, regardless of our striving. Since we have good will, one need no longer worry as though the work depended just on ourselves.

- Dorothy Day

There are certain things between a man and his God which can only be settled in the awful loneliness of the man’s own soul.

- William Barclay

Do not look for Jesus away from yourselves. He is not out there; He is in you. Keep your lamp burning, and you will recognize Him. Christ has wanted to share our life, our loneliness, our anguish, our death. All of that during the hardest night ever.

- Mother Teresa of Calcutta

The moral revival that certain people wish to impose will be much worse than the condition it is meant to cure. If our present suffering ever leads to revival, this will not be brought about through slogans, but in silence and moral loneliness, through pain, misery and terror, in the profoundest depths of each man’s spirit.

- Simone Weil

Just as we breathe in and breathe out, we need solitude to gain strength for togetherness. We must breathe in and breathe out in order to be able to work and give again. We know from Nietzsche’s Zoroaster that that the prophet was often alone with his animals. He was alone with these intelligent, strong, noble and submissive beasts, and he had to be alone. But when he had drawn strength from his solitude, he felt driven toward his fellow human beings.

- Eberhard Arnold

It was said about a monk that he endured seven weeks of fasting in a solitary hut, eating only once a week. During this time he prayed unceasingly, asking God to reveal to him the secrets of Holy Scripture, but God did not answer him. Finally he despaired of making any progress in his exercise, and said to himself, “I will go back to my brothers, and ask their advice.” No sooner had he set off, than an angel appeared to him, saying, “Seven weeks of fasting have brought you no nearer to God. But now that you have grown humble enough to turn to your brothers, I have been sent to you to reveal the secrets you ponder.” And he did, and the monk returned to his brothers rejoicing. – Wisdom of the Desert Fathers Jesus said, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine- dresser. Every branch in me that bears no fruit he cuts away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, to make it bear even more” (John 15:1–2). These words open a new perspective on suffering for me. They help me to think about painful rejections, moments of loneliness, feelings of inner darkness and despair, and lack of support and human affection as God’s pruning. A pruned vine does not look beautiful, but during harvest time it produces much fruit. The great challenge is to continue to recognize God’s pruning hand in my life. Then I can avoid resentment and depression and become grateful that I am called upon to bear even more fruit than I thought I could. Suffering then becomes a way of purification and allows me to rejoice in its fruits with deep gratitude and without pride.

- Henri Nouwen

You say you have no faith? Love: and faith will come. You say you are sad? Love: and joy will come. You say you are alone? Love: and you will break out of your solitude. You say you are in hell? Love: and you will find yourself in heaven. Heaven is love.

- Carlo Carretto

We read, “Be still and know that I am God.” And yet when we are lonely, too much stillness is exactly the thing that seems to be laying waste our soul. Well, we can use that stillness to quiet our hearts before God. If he is God, he is still in charge. First, remember that you are not alone. Never mind if you cannot feel his presence: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you: he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deut. 31:8). “Surely, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20). Second, give thanks. In times of my greatest loneliness I have been lifted up by the promise of 2 Corinthians 4: “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.” This is something to thank God for. Our loneliness, which seems a weight, will be far outweighed by glory. Third, reject self-pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you. Instead, turn your thoughts to Christ, who has already carried your griefs and sorrows. Accept – embrace – your loneliness. It is only a stage on a journey that is bringing you to God. It will not last forever. Offer up your loneliness to God, as the little boy offered Jesus his five loaves and two fishes. God can transform it for the good of others. Finally, do something for someone else. No matter who or where you are, there is always something you can do, always somebody who needs you. Pray that you may be an instrument of God’s love and peace – that where there is loneliness, you may bring joy.

- Elisabeth Elliot

Solitude is like a garden for the heart – a place where aloneness can bear fruit. It is a home for our restless bodies and anxious minds. Whether it is connected with a physical space or not, it is essential for our spiritual lives. It is not an easy place to be, since we are so insecure and fearful that we are easily distracted by whatever promises immediate satisfaction. Solitude is not immediately satisfying because in solitude we meet our demons, our addictions, our feelings of lust and anger, and our immense need for recognition and approval. But if we do not run away, we will meet there also the One who says, “Do not be afraid. I am with you, and I will guide you through the valley of darkness.” When we enter into solitude to be with God alone, we quickly discover how dependent we are. Without the many distractions of our daily lives, we feel anxious and tense. When nobody speaks to us, calls on us, or needs our help, we start feeling like nobodies. We begin wondering whether we are useful, valuable, and significant. Our tendency is to leave this fearful solitude quickly and get busy again to reassure ourselves that we are “somebodies.” But that is a temptation, because what makes us somebodies is not other people’s responses to us, but God’s eternal love for us. To claim the truth of ourselves, we have to cling to our God in solitude as to the One who makes us who we are.

- Henri Nouwen

You know that I love you, Peter says. You know my secrets; you know my deepest abyss. But you also know that I long for you – from the bottom of my heart. “You know…” Such self- confidence is not misplaced; it is not an overestimation. I know that I know nothing. I don’t even know myself. And yet – “You know all things: you know that I love you.” Without this love, I couldn’t even exist. Let this fact be the cornerstone of your life. Dare to let yourself fall into the poverty of your heart, and you will find that it is on the ground of nothingness that faith begins. Jesus knows every stirring of your heart, every contradiction and fear. He is your brother at every moment, and will remain so forever: your brother in poverty and loneliness, your brother in guilt and temptation, your brother in suffering and dying; yes, even in your remoteness from God. There is no space that he has not already passed through.

- Hanna Hümmer

How many difficulties are present in the life of every individual, and in our communities; yet as great as these may seem, God never allows us to be overwhelmed by them. In the face of those moments of discouragement we experience in life, in our efforts to pass on or embody our faith as parents, I would like to say forcefully: Always know in your heart that God is by your side; he never abandons you. Let us never lose hope; let us never allow it to die in our hearts! The “dragon,” evil, is always present in our history, but it does not have the upper hand. The one with the upper hand is God, and God is our hope! It is true that nowadays, to some extent, so many, perhaps especially our young people, feel attracted by the many idols which take the place of God and appear to offer hope: money, success, power, pleasure. Often a growing sense of loneliness and emptiness leads them to seek satisfaction in these ephemeral idols. Dear brothers and sisters, let us be lights of hope! Let us maintain a positive outlook on reality. Let us encourage the generosity which is typical of the young and help them to work actively in building a better world. Young people are a powerful engine for the church and for society. Let us help them see that they do not need material things alone; also and above all, they need to have held up to them those non-material things which have lasting, eternal value.

- Jorge Mario Bergoglio

The person who fears to be alone will never be anything but lonely, no matter how much he may surround himself with people. But the one who learns, in solitude and recollection, to be at peace with his own loneliness, and to prefer its reality to the illusion of merely natural companionship, comes to know the invisible companionship of God. Such a one is alone with God in all places, and he alone truly enjoys the companionship of other men, because he loves them in God, in whom their presence is not tiresome.

- Thomas Merton

When we get our spiritual house in order, we’ll be dead. This goes on. You arrive at enough certainty to be able to make your way, but it is making it in darkness. Don’t expect faith to clear things up for you. It is trust, not certainty, that counts.

- Flannery O’Connor